14 films starring well-known actors that grossed less than £1,000 in the UK box office

  • 14 films starring well-known actors that grossed less than £1,000 in the UK box office

Not every film is going to rake in the millions at the box office; some films are just plain bad.

But as we will discover, some films don't even earn enough money to buy a second-hand car in decent condition. 

For reference, 2014's highest grossing film at the UK box office was The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies - raking in a mighty $61,349,032 

So compare that with...

14. The Words starring Bradley Cooper and Zoe Saldana - £786

A writer at the peak of his literary success discovers the steep price he must pay for stealing another man's work.

Which is funny, because according to the Swiss, the plot is very similar to Martin Suter's novel Lila Lila.

Regardless, the film which boasted Jeremy Irons, John Hannah and Dennis Quaid, earned over $13m worldwide, but British audiences only contributed $1,165 (£786) of that.

13. City Rats starring Danny Dyer - £630

Eight lost souls search for solutions to problems ranging from finding a better suicide method, to defeating creative block, to losing their virginity.

Not an encouraging sign, when the film is released on DVD immediately after its premiere and while still in cinemas. 

Perhaps it had enormous sales on DVD, because it only made £630 in the cinema.

As we shall see, Danny Dyer is quite prolific in this area...

12. The Disappeared starring Tom Felton - £651

Following the disappearance of his younger brother Tom, Matthew Ryan tries to put his life and sanity back together. However the past keeps coming back to haunt him.

Playing a small role in this horror didn't save it, the Harry Potter star's pulling power only managed to pull in £651.

11. Run for Your Wife starring Danny Dyer - £602

Taxi driver John Smith has been happily married to two women for five years. When John unwittingly becomes a have-a-go hero, he must spend the next hectic 24 hours rushing between North and South London attempting to prevent the two loving wives coming face-to-face.

Remarked by critics as "30 years past its sell-by-date" and "as funny as leprosy", Danny Dyer's second entry on this list grossed £602 in total.

Being shown in nine cinemas, the film banked an average of £67 per cinema.

10. Sweet Land starring Alan Cumming - £569

In 1920, Inge, a German national, travels from Norway to rural Minnesota for her arranged marriage to Olaf, a Norwegian farmer; bureaucracy and prejudice cause major complications.

The romantic drama featured X-Men and GoldenEye star Alan Cumming in a small role, and despite it being an independent film, received a wide release in the US.

Its release in the UK wasn't that heralded, as no-one was told about it, resulting in the historical romance film being largely ignored by everyone, grossing £569 in total.

9. River Queen starring Kiefer Sutherland - £587

An intimate story set during the 1860s in which a young Irish woman Sarah and her family find themselves on both sides of the turbulent wars between British and Maori during the British colonization of New Zealand.

The film did extremely well in its native New Zealand as Vincent Ward's film topped the New Zealand box office in its first week (a lofty accolade).

Unfortunately English lead Samantha Morton and star of 24 Keifer Sutherland wasn't enough to hit it big in the UK, with a gross of only £587.

8. Welcome to the Rileys starring Kristen Stewart and James Gandolfini - £552

On a business trip to New Orleans, a damaged man seeks salvation by caring for a wayward young woman.

With a limited release, starring frowning Twilight blank canvas Kristen Stewart and the late James Gandolfini, Welcome to the Rileys only secured just over $300,000 at the box office.

A very small section of that came from the UK, in fact $817 (£552) of it.

7. Vehicle 19 starring Paul Walker - $367

In Johannesburg, an American parole breaker unknowingly picks up a rental car that will tie him to a web of corrupt local police.

Paul Walker jumped behind the wheel of another action thriller, but this one wasn't anywhere near as successful as the Fast & Furious films.

The film was only shown in UK cinemas for six days, but even Fast & Furious fans didn't bother paying to see it on the big screen, and the film only made £367.

6. The Lost City starring Andy Garcia - £258

A wealthy and prominent Cuban night-club owner is caught in the violent transition from the oppressive regime of Batista to the government of Fidel Castro.

Andy Garcia's take on a Cuban didn't go down as well as Al Pacino's turn in Scarface, as Lost City only managed to net £258 pounds from non-Cuban loving Brits.

5. The Reverend starring Rutger Hauer - £247

A Reverend begins his first day at his new parish only to be bitten by a vampire. His faith is soon tested when his thirst for blood and an encounter with a prostitute gives him a thirst for justice.

What do people love more than vampires? Priest vampires!

It would seem the single-weekend release with 'the bloke from Blade Runner' and Tamer Hassan didn't get UK audiences' blood flowing, as it only managed to suck up £247.

4. The Chumscrubber starring Glenn Close, Ralph Fiennes and Jamie Bell - £125

A darkly satiric story about life crumbling in the midst of a seemingly idyllic suburbia.

Boasting an impressively-assembled cast, its global box office bomb saw The Chumscrubber earn back only $351,401 of its $10m budget.

Of that, it fared terribly in the UK, with its first weekend grossing £36 - meaning that only six people paid to watch it.

They would have probably spent more money if they'd have got a taxi back from the cinema together.

3. Dark Tide starring Halle Berry - £97

A professional diving tutor returns to water after an almost fatal encounter with a great white shark. The nightmare from the deep is still lurking - more carnivorous and hungry than ever.

It may not be Jaws, but it does have Halle Berry in a bikini, what could possibly go wrong?

Everything, it would seem, as its limited release started on a Monday, and was almost completely ignored by UK audiences, bagging less than one hundred pounds in the process.

2. Deviation starring Danny Dyer - £95

A dangerous schizophrenic murderer goes on a murderous rampage around London whilst holding a woman hostage.

A thriller, which annoyingly doesn't have a Wikipedia entry, starring Lord Daniel of Dyer was released in 2012's award season.

While Daniel Day-Lewis was winning all the awards for Lincoln, no-one was giving Danny a look in, as £95 was all that he accrued for this film.

1. Motherhood starring Uma Thurman - £88

In Manhattan, a mother of two preparing for her daughter's sixth birthday party has no idea of the challenges she's about to face in order to pull off the event.

Uma Thurman - star of Kill BillPulp Fiction and some non-Tarrantino films - wasn't enough to pull this steaming turd of a film into good box office figures as it only pulled in $726,354 globally.

The marketing team behind Motherhood thought it'd be a really cool idea to give national exclusivity of the film to one cinema.

Unfortunately no-one was told about it, as less than a dozen people turned out, as it made £88 in its run in the Apollo West End in Piccadilly Circus, London.

On the Sunday of its opening weekend, box office takings were £9 - meaning one person bought a ticket.


Have you been to the cinema to see any of these films? Let us know in the comments below, because you're in a very small minority...

All the figures come from the good people at Box Office Mojo.

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